The Summer Masquerade
by MzViolet
Summary: They needed the information on the enemy, so they picked one of their own to spy in disguise. Little did he know it would invlove wearing a bra..... Complete.
1. The Beginning of the End

Chocolate Pudding-chan: This is what comes out of me when I'm high on soda.

Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Mew Mew.

* * *

Pai stared awkwardly at he little pamphlet that had showed up in the mailbox that they had placed in front of their disguised ship to help it blend in.

It read, in huge, disgustingly pink bold-type:

"**Come to an exquisite summer banquet to celebrate the one-year anniversary of the opening of Café Mew Mew! **

**Where: The Café Mew Mew bakery south of the park**

**When: June 13, 7:00 P.M.**

**Dress nicely please!"**

Dress nicely. Ew.

That was Pai's opinion.

Kisshu, once seeing it, came up with a plan equal in disgust factor to the lacy invitation.

"Okay, I have THE most brilliant plan ever!" Kish told his friends after he had made them both come for a "meeting" in the living room.

"Okay, see this?" he held up the invitation, and his comrades nodded.

"I say we crash it!"

"No." Pai said immediately. "Absolutely not! I will not have you cavorting around 'T.P.-ing' their parties! We already have enough information, and this would be completely useless."

"Not like, throwing water balloons kind of crashing it, I mean getting in to the party and spying on the humans kind of crashing it!"

"That pretty much deletes the meeting of 'crashing'."

"So? It doesn't matter! It's still a good idea! But only one of us can go, all three of us would look suspicious."

"Kisshu, even if we hid our ears and 'dressed nicely'," he shuddered at the words "they would still be able to tell it was us."

"Exactly." Kish grinned. "That's why this idea's the best!"

"Huh?"

"All we have to do is make sure we look ABSOLUTELY nothing like we usually do! And how do we do that?"

Kish answered his own question: "Cross-dressing!"

"WHAT?! I will not be caught DEAD in woman's clothing!"

"Not you," Kish grinned again, pointed a finger at his victim. "Tart."

"NO! Never!" Tart cried, mortified at the aspect of dressing like a girl.

"It's so simple! You just put on us dress and a bra, we braid your hair and glue your ears to your head, and viola! An innocent little human girl!"

Tart groaned "No…."

Pai paused to think.

"Well, I suppose if he _was_ totally unrecognizable…"

"PAI!"

"If we sent him in as a girl, I think maybe we could pull this off…"

"Noooo…..." Tart groaned again.

"Then it's settled. We do it."

After a few hours of pulling and prodding, Kish was almost done with his work.

"HOLD STILL!" he cried impatiently.

"I'm trying!" Tart mumbled form under the fabric.

Tart squirmed as Kish attempted to wriggle a dress over his head.

"_This is so STUPID!"_ he thought. _"Why do I have to be the one to do this?! Why not Kish, it was his idea…"_

After the dress was applied, Kisshu stood back and admired his work.

"Hmm…" he said. "Something's missing."

He inspected the child in front of him, making a mental checklist.

"_Let's see, Dress? Check._

_Hair? Check._

_Ears covered? Check._

_My sister's bra? Check."_

And then it hit him. "Of course, that's it!"

He ran to the kitchen and came back with two oranges in his hands.

"And now…" he stuffed the oranges down the bra Tart was wearing.

"You're perfect!"

Outside the café that same night, the two pepped up their friend before sending him inside. Well, they tried.

But, Tart was too busy crying to listen. He clung onto Pai, begging him to call the mission off.

"Please don't make me do this! I feel dumb! And I look even dumber!"

"You may look stupid to _us_, but everyone else will think you're just a normal human girl."

"I don't want to be a _girl_ anything!"

"Listen, it's just for a few hours! You'll do fine. And remember to keep your eyes and ears peeled for any information that may be helpful to us!"

"How can I keep my ears peeled when they're taped to my head?"

"Use your imagination, kid." Kish said, pushing Tart toward the door of the building, which was now glowing with lanterns as music boomed from the inside.

Tart took a deep breath, and opened the doors.

* * *

Chocolate Pudding-chan: You'll have to wait and see to find out if Kish's plan was as successful as he hoped. 


	2. Unpleasent Introductions

Chocolate Pudding-chan: CONTINUATION.

* * *

Standing right inside the doorway, Tart inspected the heavily-decorated café. The lights were dimmed, and upbeat "musak" was streaming from speakers. Guys in tuxes and girls in frilly dress frolicked about with their glasses of punch.

Girls in frilly dresses. _"Guess I'm one of them now."_ Taruto winced.

"Hey there!" said a sickly sweet voice from, well, above him.

Momomiya Ichigo.

"_Oh, GAG!_"

"Aren't you……" Ichigo paused, looking over the kid in front of her.

"Haven't you developed early, haha.." _"Look at her! Those things are huge! But she can't be more than 11…."_ Ichigo thought. But she tried to make cheerful smalltalk.

"What's your name?"

"_Dang! Think of something, idiot!"_ Tart frantically tried to come up with a suitable female name.

"Uh, it's…Kalina. Yeah!" he laughed nervously.

"_Of course. Kish's sister's name. Figures."_

"Well, I'll be seeing you. Bye!" Ichigo tromped away in her heels to go squeal about gossip with one of her school-friends.

Tart timidly wandered through the café, fiddling hopelessly with his bra strap.

"_How do girls wear these all the time?! So itchy…"_

"Hello! What's your name?"

Tart knew that voice.

"_Oh no…"_

"Kalina. Hi." Tart said flatly, facing none other than Pudding Fon.

"Hey! I'm Pudding! That's a cute dress! You like mine? How'd you do your hair that way? Have you been here before?"

The rapid fire questions; he should have been expecting this.

He inspected the yellow and peachy dress she had on, adorned with ribbons all over.

"_Gross…"_ is what he thought.

"Oh!" he said making his voice sound as high-pitched as possible "Very cute! Love the bows! I don't know how it got this way, and yes." He fibbed a little. A lot.

"_As soon as I get out of here, Kish is getting such a black eye…."_

"OOH! Thank you! You're nice, we should be friends!" She said excitedly, following her statement by giving him a hug.

"_Even as a girl I can't escape this!"_

"Sure! Totally. See ya'." He said quickly, maneuvering himself towards the snack table.

He was so mesmerized by the layout of junk food that he almost forgot he wasn't supposed to be there.

Stuffing a pastry into his mouth, be made a small consideration that maybe this wasn't so bad. Until:

"Hey."

Tart looked up to see the blonde Ryou Shirogane smirking down at him.

Tart was thinking _"WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE TO EAT?!"_

Ryou, oblivious to the fact that "Kalina" was actually only ten (And actually wasn't a girl), was thinking: _"Woah, she's pretty short, but look at he size of those bazookas!"_

He bent down so they were face-to-face. "So what are you? Fourteen? Sixteen?"

"Ten."

"Ten?! You've got some melons for a ten-year-old!"

"Erm, they're oranges…."

"What?"

"Nothing! I GOTTA PEE!" Tart scrambled to the bathroom, making sure he went through the door that said "Ladies"

"_Mental scars…."_

* * *

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Behold. 


	3. Quite a Nasty Bottle

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Keep reading and REVIEWING please.

* * *

Tart was stuck to the wall after his little trip to the ladies room. He was very, very, upset.

"_Pudding keeps hugging me, people keep FLIRTING with me, and I haven't gotten a single bit of stupid 'information'!!! I wanna go die…."_

"Oo, Kalina Over here!" Ichigo called to him from across the room, motioning for him to come sit with her and a small circle of people that seemed to be playing a game.

"Hey! Are you up for a game of spin-the-bottle?"

"_OH NOOOOOO!"_

"Er, I don't think I should—" Tart stuttered

"Oh. Come on! Afraid of a little smooching?"

"Yes."

This caused the group to laugh.

"See guys? I told you she was cool!"

Oh, they thought he was joking. Haha.

Another girl with short brown hair yanked him onto the floor

Aoyama, sitting on the other side of the circle, raised his eyebrows, "Rawr." He whispered.

"_This sicko is gonna meet my breakfast real soon…"_

Ichigo blushed and giggled, thinking this comment was directed towards her.

"Okay, Moe, your turn!"

Moe, the girl who had pulled him to the floor, gave the beer bottle a whirl. It ended up landing on some kid that Tart had never seen before.

They made out.

Life went on.

Tart was thinking about different methods of torture to inflict on Kisshu when Ichigo said:

"Hey, Kalina! It's your turn"

"_Oh, gawd! I can't do this, I can't do this!"_

He shakily flicked the bottle, sweating as is spun slowly.

It came to a stop in front of Ryou.

"_Okay, it would be incredibly pleasant right now if a maniac would come in here and shoot me!!!"_

Ryou raised his eyebrows.

Tart ran for his life toward the bathroom.

* * *

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Whoot. 


	4. And a Bit of Gas

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Short but sweet. Kinda.

* * *

Tart, now inside the ladies room once again, shut himself in a stall, plopped down on the floor, and cried.

"_I hate my life! I hate these oranges and this dress! AND I HATE YOU KISSHU!"_

He didn't really know _why_ he was crying. Stress, he figured. Plus, he was tired, hungry and very.veryitchy.

Pudding wandered into the bathroom to fix her hair and heard a squeal from one of the stalls.

"Hello?"

Tart put himself together, and raised his voice pitch again " Oh, it's…..it's just me!"

"Kalina? Are you okay? I heard you ran off earlier, I've been wondering where you were. Are you sick? Is it erm…your time of month?"

"Oh, haha, no." Tart said nervously. "Just having a little gastro-intestinal distress! You know, a few too many of those cheese cubes!" he laughed.

"_Gas! That's the best you can think of! GAS!"_

"Gastro-what!"

"You know, a few blasts of the pants cannon! Toots of the tushy trumpet! WHOO! BREAK OUT THE LYSOL!"

"_WHAT KIND OF IDIOT ARE YOU! YOU HAVE COMPLETELY LOST IT IF YOU EXPECT HER TO BELIEVE--"_

"Ooh…" Pudding said. "I'm...sorry?"

"Yeah, I think I'm okay now." He stepped out of the stall and gave her a phony smile.

"Oh, good!" Pudding responded, immediately cheerful again.

Tart walked towards the door, but Pudding called to him before he left.

"Oh, Kalina?"

"Yes?" he turned around, and to his horror, she was holding an orange in her hand.

"You dropped something."

* * *

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Bum Bum Bum!


	5. That Ended With Missing Fruit

Chocolate Pudding-chan: Enjoy pepples.

* * *

Tart froze.

"_Great! NOW I'M MISSING A BOOB!"_

Pudding stared.

"You—This—YOU POSER!"

"No wait! I can explain, Pudding!" Only it came out in his real voice, and he tried to stop her from overreacting, but failed miserably.

"Pudding? Please don't screa—"

"TARUTO, OH MY GAWD!

"No! Please shut—"

He was stopped by the orange hitting his head.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF—WHAT WERE YOU _THINKING_?!"

"Just shut up and let me expl—"

"You're some sort of…TRANSEXVITE! CROSSDRESSER! SICKO!"

"JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW!" Tart took a deep breath. He braced his hands on her shoulders.

"You listen good. You are to never, _ever_ to say ANYTHING to ANYONE tonight or EVER, do you understand?! I went through _hell_ on this stupid mission that wasn't even my idea, and you are to say NOTHING! Understand me, woman?!"

Pudding nodded. "A-a mission?" she stuttered.

"Yes. It was Kish's lame idea that I dress up, as a GIRL of all things, to spy on you guys at this party. But, obviously, I've done nothing but SUFFER through itchy bras, guys flirting with me and having to drink stale punch!" He was sobbing again.

"You gotta give me a break here, Pudding! Please?!"

"Taru-taru…" she wiped a tear off his face. "Your mascara is running…."

"WAAAAAHHH!"

"Come here…." She gave him a well-deserved hug. "I won't say a word ever, I promise."

"Thank you! I owe you so big!"

He squeezed her back.

"_Wait a second, WHAT AM I DOING?!"_

He quickly let go. "Sorry, that probably was a bit….nasty…"

"It's okay!" she smiled. "Even if you are wearing a…..

…..dress….."

"Haha… Well, I better get out of here before someone catches me in the girl's bathroom. See you!"

He went to teleport, but she stopped him first.

"Taru-taru?"

"Yeah?"

She reached down the top of the dress and pulled out the other orange.

"Take off the bra, please?"

"Yeah…."

* * *

Ya, short but sweet on this story. Please continue reviewing! Love you!

P.S., I'd love you even more if you read my other stories! Aardvarks (Complete), Roadtrip of Doom(Complete), For the Love of Pig (Complete), and Day in the Life! Kudos if you've already read! I'll post the names of my biggest readers (And reviewers) in my latest story 'cause I love you guys so much!

Chocolate Pudding


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